Eat like Elvis in Bristol

Eating like the King takes guts, that's for sure. You need to have the stamina of a steak, the passion of a bowl of melted butter, and balls that you haven't seen for thirty years.

Elvis is not dead, he is alive and eating his way through the city of Brizzle. Join him as he heaves through eateries in the Southwest's yummiest city singing 'burgers and fry-ups... gert lush-a-lush-o'.

First on the menu is a light pre-breakfast snack in Starbucks. Go for the grande full fat latte with vanilla, toffee and lard syrups, four extra shots and a spare cup of whipped cream. Mix the free sugar and free cocoa powder together and down it.

For breakfast drive down to the famous York Café in the centre for a good old greasy fry up. The Monster Yorkie might do it, but if you're not entirely sure then there's no harm in having a portion of chicken and chips on the side. If you're still not sure, you can always gulp down one of their daily home made pies and curries.

Now it's that depressing time between breakfast and brunch. Drive to nearby ShakeAway and suffer a minor breakdown over the too large choice of flavours. Opt for the cheese cake and rolo shake with toffee popcorn sprinkles and protein powder. Lament that you didn't go for a doughnut shake whilst you scoop the popcorn out of the bottom.

Brunch time now and it's a drive back up to the Triangle for Rocotillos, a restaurant that is modelled on an American diner. Sounds perfect. Order another fry up and recoil in horror when you learn in it is cooked on a FAT FREE GRIDDLE!! Eat it anyway then get a kebab from the Hunger Hatch opposite. Phew.

You don't really feel like lunch today (must be coming down with something) so grab a burger at the Gourmet Burger Kitchen then nap in the car. Go to Burger King and swallow another to wake you up.

It should be about time for that most enjoyable meal of the day. Cattleman's Steak House is the place to be, particularly comfortable dining since there are no women and all the blokes are as big as you are. This is an American restaurant which explains why it serves steaks the size of a large cat. Eat the large cat sized steak. End the night continuing with the American theme and reminisce whilst avoiding your own wax work at the Chicago Rock Café. Food served 'til late.

Uuuhhuhh yea.

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