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The Grand Cafe

The Grand Café is an outpatient from the local psychiatric centre. It thinks it's John Lennon and seventh in line to the throne – serious delusions of grandeur. It's pleasant, just not as flash as it seems to think it is. Apparently the pillars are original – sorry for calling them cheap plaster last year – but still, gilded arms protruding from the walls at random? Please. It's a real shame they've started closing at seven, as it was always best in the late evening, still it remains a pleasant – if slightly ridiculous – place to watch the world go by, and the hot chocolate is truly out of this world. Go on, you know it's worth it just to see the gold hand–driers in the toilets.

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