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Oceana

Whatever you think of Oceana, there's no denying it's big. And we mean bloody big. This superclub has no less than six themed rooms, ranging from an Alpen Ski Lodge (think squelchy sofas and fake moose heads on the walls) to the New York Disco, where the neon light–up dancefloor is perfectly suited to a 70s–stylee dance–off that would see John Travolta going all misty–eyed. Last time Itchy went here we ended up grooving to Phil Collins tunes on said dancefloor. We never claimed to be classy.

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